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Blog entry 7

From Pain comes growth!

At this time of national outrage over social injustice, the the voice of this pain is extremely intense. So many confusing feelings are being felt by all. A sense of fear and apprehension is pervasive. This voice, it will be heard, it will be processed and changes for the better will arise.

As I am currently retired from practice, I can still see myself in my office facing clients who with fear in their eyes pleading with me to help them make sense of so many highly emotional moments, such as terrorist attacks, climate catastrophes, and social injustice protests. In 45 years of practice I have had to face this challenge many times over. Rising to this challenge, I too had to find a path that made sense and brought hope. Some of the concepts I have expressed in previous blog entries were birthed by just these kind of moments. They came from my own sense of jumbled emotions. To help others, I first had to find my own sense of direction and security.

I begin the process by recalling my own Experience Road journey. I connected to these fears and a sense of insecurity and flash back to my days as a long haired protester during the Vietnam war era. Aside from the inhumanity of that so unnecessary war, there were the same social injustice issues. People of privilege avoided the war, while those without filled the ranks of the men drafted into the military and sent to war. Our country felt like a family without a strong and kind parent in charge. As citizens/children in this country/family, we cried out loudly to be heard and with great emotion demanding direction.

In time, new leadership emerged and change happened. It was a time when civil rights for all was an open issue to be spoken about. Within education, the arts and sciences and the political community leadership, new voices arose that reflected a broader representation of people of all backgrounds. Great strides of progress emerged.

The Experience Road tells us that these current strong emotions will again give birth to new progress as we all continue to strive to become a more mature and caring people. New leaders/parents will come to arise that will help our country/family reflect security and hope. In family therapy we find these emotional outburst frequently. They are necessary in a process that helps to bring forth issues and long time neglected feelings. The therapeutic process can at moments feel painful but from that pain comes growth!

In time, we will remember that we have a choice as to what type of person we want to strive to become. Let us see what we can learn from the current events. Avoid becoming trapped on the Failure Road of hopelessness. Join with others, like a family, to talk about changes and solutions. Work with others to bring about positive solutions. Question the outcomes and have courage to make adjustments.

My clients took from my own soul searching a message that made sense and returned them to the path of facing the uncertainties of change. On the Experience Road we can find lessons and new directions to continue building a better country/family.

The world has certainly felt upside down lately. I however never underestimate our ability to adjust. We can stand together and make adjustments that everyone can benefit by. We need to be resilient and reaffirm beliefs that includes everyone.

I hope that my sharing can be helpful and hopeful.

Dr Mike

Clinical psychologist 45 years in practice. Worked with children and adults. Love nature, hiking, photography and drums. Retired living in DC.

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