Not In Our Country

Blog 38

This past month my dear friend and colleague Dr. Dorit Whiteman passed away at the ripe old age of 98. She and I had known each other for over 30 years. Once a month for 25 years we met together as members of a psychologist peer group. We encouraged each other to build our clinical skills, while at the same time we shared past and ongoing life experiences.

To me Dorit will always be remembered as the “Mouse That Roared.” That distinction was bestowed upon her when she wrote an article for an Austrian newspaper while trying to recoup stolen family property that had been confiscated during the Nazi occupation of her home land, Austria. Dorit never met an opinion or argument she declined to debate. Her thirst for knowledge pushed her to seek our facts and truths. To her credit she was capable of accepting opposing views when supported by facts.

Dorit and I bonded through our family histories of WWII and the Holocaust. As a young child of Jewish descent, she along with her parents, were safely evacuated to live in England just as the Nazi occupation fell upon Austria. Her father was a physician while her mother had a noted music school. Upon reaching England they became servants while all their possessions were lost. During the bombing of England, Dorit along with thousands of other English children were sent to live far away in the countryside to be cared for by foster parents.

Years later as an adult and a psychologist Dorit established herself as a distinguished author and lecturer on the Holocaust. She wrote many well received books. During one particular highlight of her career, Dorit was honored by thousands Austrian college students who gathered to hear her give an important speech regarding the Holocaust. Ironically her speech was given in the same public park in Vienna where Adolf Hitler once gave a major speech in 1939 as Austria fell to Nazi control.

My parents were Holocaust survivors. I am a first generation child of survivors and the first born American citizen in my family. I was born in Cincinnati, Ohio.

I never tired of listening to Dorit retell stories of her incredible and at times harrowing experiences. As a young child I can also recall stories from my own family’s horrific experiences. So many relatives were lost.

Dorit knew that I was uncomfortable talking about the Holocaust. Her courage to speak out and address Holocaust issues encouraged me to open up and explore my own conflicted feelings. Over the years Dorit continued to share stories of her childhood. I came to understand that her sharing was also her ongoing need to work through the pains, fears and anxieties that hauntingly followed her throughout her life.

Four years ago I retired from my practice and along with my wife moved to Washington D.C. As I moved away from New York, I also left behind a peer group that had been a major source of support for each other during the best and worst years of our lives. Yet, Dorit and I never severed ties.

At least once a month with a coffee in hand I loved to walk down to Lafayette Square(Black Lives Matter) Park in front of the White House, find a bench and spend an hour chatting with Dorit. Every morning Dorit would read the NY Times. We would talk about what she read while she eagerly sought out my opinions. Increasingly over the last few years she had become more and more unsettled. She was becoming extremely anxious about what was happening in our country. The unsettling political turmoil reminded her of events similar to those she saw in 1939 Germany/Austria. Feeling her neediness I tried to assuage her fears by pointing out with confidence, Not In Our Country!

During the last five years the United States has been embroiled in turmoil as extreme political debate has confused and divided us. In many of my previous blogs I have tried to connect my years of clinical psychology knowledge and experiences to examine the social issues of our times. I drew analogies between dysfunctional families and our country’s leaders and influential people who have attempted to use their positions to gain power and personal wealth by spreading lies and hatred. Oh no, Not In Our Country!

In particular the former president recently made extremely sensitive and threatening comments to the Jewish citizens of our country. Angrily he declared that “before it was to late”, Jews should be more grateful and appreciative of the efforts he made to help Israel during his administration. He also declared that American Jews have a “greater loyalty” to Israel than the United States. His remarks were clearly anti-semitic.

For the record, I do not have a dual citizenship. I am as American as apple pie. I am not a citizen of Israel. My identification and loyalty has always been American. This is the country that gave my refuge ancestors a chance for a new beginning to be safe and have liberty and freedom. That has been the American creed longed for and respected throughout the world.

Alarmingly our former president’s hateful a comments ignited a rippling effect that spread to others making outlandish mean spirited anti-semitic public comments. Indeed, it had been reported that there has been a vast increase in anti-semitic acts of aggression. Additionally, the former president’s frequent comments had spurred on hate crimes against so many other citizens with diverse cultural and ethnic backgrounds. It shouldn’t be. Not In Our Country!

Even until the last few weeks of her life Dorit and I continued our monthly conversations from the park across from the White House. Her anxieties and worries, in light of current events in this country, particularly the insurrection on January 6th, continued to fuel her fears. My strength and confidence in my convictions had been compromised. I wanted to strongly believe that our country was capable of being fair and compassionate. I wanted to believe that truth would overcome the hateful comments coming from our country’s top leadership. Stubbornly and somewhat less confidently I would still end each conversation with Dorit by saying, Not In Our Country! She often whispered “From your mouth to god's ears.”

Dorit, my parents and countless others have had to live with an ancestral history targeted by hatred. It has been a struggle for The United States to overcome prejudice, hatred and inequality. America was founded upon the principles of freedom and liberty for all. All men(people) were created equal. These ideals are still being challenged as lies continue to pervade the country. It is imperative that we all raise our voices to stand up to hatred. Silence is not an option. Wherever you are, whomever you connect with, we must ask each other is hatred our future.

Let us all declare: Not In Our Country

Michael Simon, Ph.D.